Endless Contradictions.. (Open)

[leighferine]

“Ah…” A small, almost pleasurable noise slipped past Leigh’s lips as he carefully read the pages of a rather explicit book. He had lost count of how many times he had re-read it over the past week… but every time he opened it, the reaction was the same. Whirring thoughts, pink-dusted cheeks, and heterochromatic eyes glued to the pages. He didn’t know why these books invoked such a reaction from him… but he was sure that he enjoyed it. Turning the page, he paused, noticing a smudge on his glasses lense. This was the downside of wearing glasses… smudges seemed to appear from out of the blue. “Tch.” Setting the open book beside him, he pulled off his glasses, using the fabric of his crimson turtleneck to clean them. Even though he wanted to continue his reading, he was equally set on making his glasses spotless again. It was an endless contradiction with him… he was always torn between two things, be it cleanliness and studies, books and homework, or even sadism and masochism. He never knew what he really wanted to do… and that perturbed him. Lifting his glasses, he held them up to the light, and examined them for more unsightly smudges. Finding none, he pushed them back on to his face, and resumed his reading.

Turning the page, he bit his lip to suppress any sort of noise he would’ve made… he had gotten to the infamous sex scene. This was usually where he would shut the book and try to regain his senses… but today he intended on finishing it. With his jaw set, he began reading once more, and his eyes widened slightly. This was what sex was? Was he really that out of touch with humanity, to be surprised by what sexual intercourse actually was? Shaking his head, he flipped the page, and fidgeted in his seat. The author was so detailed… the noises, the movements… the feelings. It made Leigh feel awkward. “If this is the pastime that other boys here enjoy, then I surely plan on staying a virgin.” Shutting the book, he frowned slightly, and pushed up his glasses. He longed to continue reading, but he knew that if he did, he’d probably want to know how it really felt to have… sex. That sent chills down his spine, to think of what it would actually feel like. “Ugh… I’m disgusted with myself.” He stood, straightening his lab coat (which he insisted on wearing throughout the entirety of the day), before picking up the book and striding towards the rows of bookshelves that crossed the room and lined the walls. He intended on putting it back, so he could read it another day.

Pausing at the shelf where he had always placed it (or rather, hid it, since he placed it in a section completely different to the one he had originally found it in), he carefully wedged it between two other books—one of them being on mummification, the other on ancient tombs—he turned to leave… but hesitated. Maybe if he read it in the privacy of his room…? “No. That’s utterly repulsive,” he muttered to himself, his eyebrow twitching lightly. His maturity was slowly ebbing away, and he knew it. The more time he spent here, the less likely he’d return home as the civil, reasonable man that he was when he first came. “I swear, this place is going to be the death of me.” Turning sharply, he pulled a random book from the shelf, and made himself comfortable on the seat that he had previously vacated. If he was going to read something, it might as well have been… what was he reading? He looked at the cover of the book, and frowned. Of all the books in the library, he had picked up the book ‘War and Peace’. He had read it before, and had, within the first three pages, decided that it was utterly and completely boring. But he couldn’t just get up and pick another book… only children changed their minds more than once. Opening the book, he feigned interested, his eyes quickly becoming half-lidded with boredom. This was going to be another tedious day spent in the library, pretending to be interested in the utmost boring books. But, it was all for the sake of seeming mature; that was reason enough to act this way… right?

[Cornflower]

It was not an uncommon sight to see Corn wandering into the library. In fact it happened to be one of his favorite past times. The smell of book calmed him down. The feel of the smooth, cream pages beneath his fingers made him nostalgic. Yes, over all it had to be one of his favorite places in the school. But the best part of it had to be that nothing bad had ever happened to him in a library. Only good memories could be associated with the building full of books. An odd thing for the boy whose best friend could only be bad luck personified.

He shuffled in, attempting to avoid any and all contact with the people passing by him. He didn’t feel like getting into some sort of unwanted trouble today. After all, Corn wasn’t fond of confrontations, he didn’t like fighting when it wasn’t sparing—not that he was any good at it. He really didn’t want trouble today. Lightly chewing the inside of his cheek, he walked down the long row of books. Brown eyes scanning the titles for something that would catch his attention, anything that he hadn’t read before. Which, to tell the truth, was quite a lot. He reached out a slim, pale hand, just barely peeking out from his long sleeves and ran it softly over the spines of the books. Beautiful. They were beautiful. Each one holding the potential to help better one’s self. His fingers stopped on an old, leather book-- its pages worn and yellowed with age. He delicately pulled the object from its shelf, wiggling the book with patience, coaxing it. He could never harm a book; it was like committing a sin to the Asian boy. Books were… books were… Corn brought a hand to his cheek, feeling foolish. How glad the dark haired boy was that no one could read his mind. Such an attachment to the written word, it wasn’t good to show attachments. He gave a mental sigh, opening the book listlessly.

It was a medical book, nothing he could really understand-- medicine not being his forte. Still, he flipped though the pages delicately. Intrigued by the confusing words, the little things that made no sense to him. Not that it surprised him that he didn’t understand more then half of what had been said. Corn knew he wasn’t the brightest person, but he wasn’t completely dumb. Or so he liked to think. Flipping the pages once more, he came across the anatomy section of the book. Eyes brightened in understanding. Anatomy, the human body, this was something he knew. An artist at heart, this was child’s play to him. Even if he hadn’t bothered learning their names, he knew how the muscles and bones were shaped, how they moved; he knew how they fit into one another. No longer paying attention to any other book he made his way around the maze of shelves much taller then the half-Asian boy.

Being trained in the art of walking while reading, he made his way to the tables. Eyes lifting slowly from the book, only slightly taking in his surrounding—after all his book was much more interesting. He could make out the presence of books, tables, chairs, an unfamiliar figure in the corner of his eye, everything one would expect to see in a library. An unfamiliar… Corn looked up from his book again, really taking a good look. A boy, probably a bit older then he was… Or maybe it was a man? Corn wasn’t sure, for all he knew the other was a teacher. Looks were completely deceiving in this place. He tilted his head slightly, blinking. It wasn’t all that often that one saw another actually reading here. Most of the students, not to mention the teachers, were much too busy with… other more intimate things. He’d lost count of how many times he’d been wandering aimlessly along the rows of books, only to have to scurry quickly from one row to another. Desperately trying not to bother the couple currently locked in a rather, compromising position. Libraries weren’t supposed to be used for that.

Certain that he could find his place in the book, he closed it. Even if he didn’t expect the other boy to talk to him… maybe, they could at least sit at the same table. He had a feeling that some how, it’d make the building just slightly less lonely. Another light to brighten the darkness. Using his free hand he pulled his jacket down, trying to cover his constricting pants. He didn’t want to give the other the wrong impression. Pulling the lose jacket wouldn’t do much, but it made Corn feel better at least. A secret that he’d only admit to himself, the only reason he didn’t dress in clothes four times his size. Was because he wanted others to think he looked nice. He’d never be able to admit it to anyone though, no, that was much too bold. Much too impolite. Building up his courage, he walked over to the table, a faint smile on his lips. “Ano…. Excuse me, is this seat taken?”