Drown My Will To Fly [Open]

[hay]

Haylee sat on her bed, her bags by the bed, still unpacked, she didn't care. Hay didn't feel like unpacking yet, she felt.... lonely. She hated feeling lonely, but that was her life, one big lonely feeling. Sighing softly she got up putting her Ipod into her pocket turning the volume up a little louder to drown out her thoughts. Opening the door she looked behind her and sighed walking out into the school.

Where was she going, Hay didn't even know. She was just wondering around when she declared that she had no clue where she was going to be going. She had hardly been at the school to know anything about it. Why try and find your way when you know you are already lost. So Haylee continued to walk her eyes on the ground in front of her, leading her wherever they would lead her. Her music buzzing in her ears, she always listened to sadder songs when she was feeling down. Sometimes it helped sometimes it made things worse.

Walking into a new building Hay stopped to see that she arrived that the pool and she frowned more. She loved to swim, but she hadn't been swimming in a long time. Taking off her shoes and socks she rolled up her pant legs and dipped her feet into the cool water. Before she became depressive Haylee had swam, played soccer, softball, and volleyball. Now she did nothing but play video games and hide away from the world.

Scooting her bag closer to her she pulled out her sketch pad, she didn't believe she was good at drawing but it was a way of releasing her feelings that she liked. Poetry was too depressing, and she didn't like all the different forms and such, they annoyed her a bit. So instead Haylee drew. Sitting on the edge of the pool her feet in the water and her sketch pad in her lap as her hand drew a face onto the paper.

It seemed like hours had passed when she finally set down her sketch pad to just stare at the water. She stared at her reflection in the water was the slow movements seemed to sweep her away. She was ugly, the water helped, her pale skin, her pale blond hair, her blue eyes. Kicking her feet in the water in anger she sighed softly hanging her head, she needed to stop thinking or she was going to hurt herself again and she didn't want to do that again. Turning up her music even louder she sighed and looked around, she didn't seen anyone else yet. Maybe the school wasn't full of swimmers. It made her want to swim, but her self esteem was to low for her to have even brought a suit to school, let alone have someone see her in it. Looking at the water again as it calmed down from the disturbance her feet had made she sighed again and closed her eyes trying to drown herself in the music.